


dreamy night

by leNa (wavynuggets)



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Adora/Catra Angst (She-Ra), Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety, Catra is in Love with Adora (She-Ra), Established Adora/Catra (She-Ra), F/F, Fluff and Angst, Human Catra (She-Ra), Hurt/Comfort, One Shot, POV Catra (She-Ra), References to Depression, Short One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-18
Updated: 2021-01-18
Packaged: 2021-03-16 13:54:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 958
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28832250
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wavynuggets/pseuds/leNa
Summary: "If a hand could reach out right nowAnd save my life somehowI'll face the sun again as soon as this dreary night ends"Catra is left alone in her thoughts when an argument with Adora spirals into hurtful comments and Adora leaves.
Relationships: Adora & Catra (She-Ra), Adora/Catra (She-Ra)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 63





	dreamy night

**Author's Note:**

> inspired by lilypichu's song, "dreamy night," which i've been listening to on repeat.

_1 AM, eyes closed, I'm slowly falling_

_To the music and the atmosphere_

_Now and then, I feel lights fading softly_

_All over me and I remember last year_

Catra wakes up in a sweat, hands furling around cool blankets and sleep-weary eyes glaring at the ceiling. 

The gentle blow of the fan beside her bed brushes her curly hair into her face, where it flutters down and sticks onto her eyelids. Voice still husky from sleep, she growls and rubs her eyes violently, pulling her unruly mane into a haphazard bun as her hand searches a nightside table for a hair tie impatiently.

She won’t fall back asleep, she knows. What waits for her behind closed eyelids once her mind has drifted into a fitful rest are the same images that have come to greet her for the past two weeks—images of claustrophobic rooms and nights spent plagued by dark thoughts and screaming matches.

Slipping out of bed, Catra makes her way delicately past scattered clothes and bottles on the floor over to her bathroom. Flicking on the lights, she cowers from the fluorescent light and shoves her head under the faucet, bent over uncomfortably to catch the steady flow of ice cold water. 

Snagging a towel hanging behind her, she pats her face down with a sigh before placing both hands on the sides of the counter and turning her eyes up to face her reflection. 

Deep-set eyes surrounded by sharp shadows and purple bags stare back at her. She pulls at her cheek roughly, nails leaving small crescent marks. 

She’s lost weight, she muses. She can’t bring herself to care. 

_When I was alone in my bed_

_Unhappy thoughts in my head_

_And living silently inside_

_Just keeping all to myself_

_Wished I could be somewhere else_

_Back when I could only hide_

It’s 1 AM the next night when Catra, in a fit of frustration, rage, and confusion, cuts off her hair, chopping at the long curls with a pair of kitchen scissors angrily. It’s been growing for a year now. 

_It’s pretty when it’s long_. Adora’s voice floats into her head gently, soothingly. 

_Useless, unruly, and untameable. Fitting for an animal like you_. Harsh words, accompanied by hard, calloused hands that yank at Catra’s hair until tears form at her young eyes.

_You’ve moved past that._

_You don’t deserve her, you know? She’ll leave you. She’ll realize that you can never be fixed._

Catra snarls, and before she knows it, has thrown the scissors at the mirror. Shards of shattered glass fly, and she hisses as small cuts bloom on her hands and face. 

Her chest is heaving and through what remains of the mirror, Catra sees the damage that she’s done to her hair. Half of it lays unevenly at her shoulders, and the other half is in knots and tangles at her waist. 

Gripping the sides of her temple as drops of blood form, Catra swallows heavily and slides down onto the cool tile until her back rests against the wall. 

She’s been here before, she thinks. Losing her mind in her own thoughts—thoughts that swirl and tug and tear at her until she thinks she’s falling apart at the seams. Adora. Adora was the one who could always sort through the haze, could grab Catra’s hand and guide her, needle and thread in hand, calmly pulling her back together. 

Catra has no one else to blame but herself—the singular thought solidifies. She pushes everyone away—has pushed _Adora_ away. She self-sabotages, she knows. Curls into herself. Lashes out. 

_Like an animal_. Her mother was right, it seems.

  
  


_It's so late in the night, my mind is drifting away_

_Then I dream about times I wished for a new happier day_

_If a hand could reach out right now_

_And save my life somehow_

_I'll face the sun again as soon as this dreary night ends_

Catra’s managed to leave the apartment today. “Managed” might be the wrong word for it, she thinks fleetingly, because it’s 5 AM and she’s laying on the beach, arms spread and listening to the sound of soft waves. She’s been lying there since 3 AM, when she awoke from her sleep sobbing.

This is their favorite spot, Catra reminds herself bitterly, fisting handfuls of soft sand. 

She’s not how long she stays there, eyes closed but not sleeping, absolutely still, before—

“Catra?” A quiet voice—a voice Catra would know anywhere—breaks past the waves. 

She opens her eyes. Above her, looking down, stands Adora. 

She looks exhausted, Catra notes. Adora’s blonde hair that’s always pulled up into that ( _stupid_ ) ponytail with the signature poof is down, framing droopinng eyes filled with concern and shrugged shoulders. 

She must have said something out loud, because Adora lets out a shaky laugh. 

_God, Catra’s missed that laugh_. 

“You don’t look too great yourself.” 

Adora takes Catra’s silence as an invitation to lay down next to her, turned onto her side so that she faces the other girl. 

They lay there in the dark as the minutes pass. Then, Catra turns to meet Adora’s gaze, biting the inside of her lip. 

“I’ve missed you.” Adora breathes out.

“I’ve missed you too, princess.” Catra reaches out, and Adora brings her into a soft embrace. “I’m sorry.” She whispers. 

There are so many words unsaid, words and guilty apologies that Catra knows will tumble out of her later. But now, holding Adora’s hands and resting her head against her shoulder, Catra bathes in the moment. 

The sun peeks out over the horizon, and for the first day in weeks, Catra falls into a quiet sleep.

_I'll face the sun again as soon as this dreamy night ends_


End file.
